Do you wonder someone gifting oneself on his birthday ?

Do you wonder someone gifting oneself on his birthday ? i did...

April has begun , so was the day appraoching to me.The day which i wish had never occured.Its not just about that single day only , but the days that had passed through after it were no easy.April 10 is something which had changed our lives , To many people it was just another day in their calendar.I used to consider April 22 as my lucky number but i had no idea that i would end up having April 10 as my unlucky day till i had lost my papa.I lost someone whom i had loved but i realised the love when he was not around.

I silently love him , nobody knows it.

After that April 10 , i was never excited about my birthday. I didnt feel April 22 special but i felt April 10 as painful to passby.I cant celebrate the life & death at one go , so i have no wishes anymore for my birthday.

Few days back i was chatting with my younger brother , he is a fun loving boy. He seems to be careless, but he claims of his responsiblity , his maturity & his intelligence...which i have never seen so far ;)So he had wanted me to send an i-pod for him. He being the youngest one in the house , so he has freedom to put forth his wishes. And we do listen to it. Intially i wasnt serious about it as i had recently sent a watch for him.I had told him to wait for right time ;) he will get it. Right now you must concentrate in your studies.I forgot to tell you that he is doing his bachelors in dental surgery.But then he started off with emotional things on chat. He said life is short you may never know when it might come to an end.He told me that he used to see lots of paitents being brought to hospital in almost dead condition.Some met road accidents, some face unnatural deaths , some even dont know why are they in such situation...so in short he had wanted to say that he can wait but life cant.I was paused for sometime after all this chat.

He brought chat live again by saying "Oh you are afraid after listining to all this..." I didnt speak a word.

I said you will get you i-pod , dont worry.

I browsed through APple's site & make up my mind for something special for him , i-pod nano BLACK.The colour has to be special ,as we used to call my younger brother KALU which means Black...even Krishanji was BLACK !!!

No racisim here , i dont want to offend anyone either. it's just his love-nick name ;)

I had wanted to make it speacial by engraving the i-pod.The next question was what should i enrave on the i-pod.

1. I thought... "i love hEr so much that, i left hEr..."

Then i thought its neither for me nor for hEr then why should i be so mean doing that...i droped this idea.

2. I thought... "zerothLOVE i'm"

I'm obsessed about zerothLOVE , dont know why...again this is something personal to me ,so there was no point in getting this engraved on i-pod which is meant for my younger brother.Again i felt that i'm thinking of ME.

3. I though... "rocK on... love jaY"

Lot of other things also came to mind, not worth mentioning as they will reflect myself again ;) , before i finally made up my mind with this.

But the irony was waiting for me, i decided upon the name but i couldnt find a deal which was offering free engraving. And to be very true i didnt want to spend extra money on engraving. So i kept these lines to my heart and ordered for i-pod without engraving.

After this i had a chat with my maa ,i didnt tell this to her as i knew she would never encourage me to buy it.She always complains that my younger borther is not serious about his studies ,so she knew that if at all i will get him ipod he will always be listening to it.So it would affect him badly , so NO CHANCE.I had told my elder borther that i have ordered ipod for kalu , he said its good go ahead.

But twist came afterwards,I checked on the status of ipod , it says it will be delivered on 22April.That's not a problem , but problem came when my borther told my maa about ipod story.So other day we were having conference chat , my maa told me that don't send ipod to india , keep it with yourself and treat it as your Bday gift from us. I was amazed to know that it was planned by my maa & elder brother as my brotherlater told me: "when i had told him that i'm planning to buy ipod for kalu he didnt object it.The thing was that they had wanted to gift me that & had not wanted that ipod must affect my younger bother's studies for time being."

I still have to tell this to my dearest youngest brother deep.So it was wonderful to gift yourself on your bday , but same time its painful to celebrate it.So i dont

jaY 1984